Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Am I?

Beautiful that is....  I have a hard time believing it.  I find parts of myself pretty and likeable but I have the hardest time accepting all of me.  Really I have the hardest time accepting my middle section.  It's carried 4 children to term and has the scars and extra tires to prove it.  Because the outside of me makes me uncomfortable I don't let the inside show much eitheir.  I'm shy and quiet most of the time.  I remember fondly parts of my life, especially one year in particular,  when I was everything I wanted to be.  I was thin and pretty, outgoing and in charge so I know it is in there somewhere.  Somehow though in the chaos of life and marriage and being a mom I lost her again.  I like the me in my head, I wish she'd come out more often.  It's like a wrestling match everyday and it shocks a few people in the process but I am finally starting to realize that God and my Husband are both right.  I am beautiful and it's OK to let it show.  (But I am still going to work on getting rid of the middle section) 

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